I was there. I saw the start of their beginning. And I saw the hints of the end. But when he told me that the end had arrived, I could not believe my ears. And now that he is doing his best to fight the ending that has come, I can’t help but feel for him. I want to tell him that he is wasting his time, his energy. But he needs to fight this fight. Its the only way he can breathe and live. I can tell him that it is hopeless. But one cannot live without Hope. Not even when we already know otherwise. And so he will keep trying. I wonder if I will ever find a love that deep that I will be willing to live a life of delusions.
I was originally blogging on a different server. And then I started to get antsy. Commitment-phobia perhaps. And so I started to look around and found wordpress. But I like the famililarity of my old blog. Old habits are hard to break. And then I started to read Ms. Heather’s blog, the originator of dooce. I started to get worried. After all, my blog contained a lot of my rants. Rants that might ‘do me in’ when I apply for a job in the real world. But still, I ploughed head on. But I also started to get distracted by the immature voices within the community I was a part of. The year was coming to an end. It is time, I decided. So I stopped. Cold turkey.
It is the 15th day of the new year. I lasted 15 days. I need to blog. I need somewhere to express my thoughts. A new year. A new broken resolution. A new start.