The beginning of the end

I was there.  I saw the start of their beginning.  And I saw the hints of the end.  But when he told me that the end had arrived, I could not believe my ears.  And now that he is doing his best to fight the ending that has come, I can’t help but feel for him.  I want to tell him that he is wasting his time, his energy.  But he needs to fight this fight.  Its the only way he can breathe and live.  I can tell him that it is hopeless.  But one cannot live without Hope.  Not even when we already know otherwise.  And so he will keep trying.  I wonder if I will ever find a love that deep that I will be willing to live a life of delusions.

cold turkey

I was originally blogging on a different server.  And then I started to get antsy.  Commitment-phobia perhaps.  And so I started to look around and found wordpress.  But I like the famililarity of my old blog.  Old habits are hard to break.  And then I started to read Ms. Heather’s blog, the originator of dooce.  I started to get worried.  After all, my blog contained a lot of my rants.  Rants that might ‘do me in’ when I apply for a job in the real world.  But still, I ploughed head on.  But I also started to get distracted by the immature voices within the community I was a part of.  The year was coming to an end.  It is time, I decided.  So I stopped.  Cold turkey.

It is the 15th day of the new year.  I lasted 15 days.  I need to blog.  I need somewhere to express my thoughts.  A new year.  A new broken resolution.  A new start.