age-ism

So last night I went to a Thanksgiving dinner with the roommies. I, as usual, bought wine because I cannot cook and cannot figure out how much food to buy that is appropriate so wine for me is always the best solution. Except for the first time in my life, I had to buy alcohol using my passport as proof of age. Sad. I know. But I lost my wallet. Along with the ATM card and DRIVER’S LICENSE. sigh. I suppose as I grow older, I can only lose more of my mind. Leaving it on the table at Starbucks was clearly not a smart move. And I suppose I can take some solace in that I don’t look so old that they have stopped bothering to ask me for my ID. But then again, it could just be that we live in a neighberhood with lots of under-aged people and they ask for it routinely. I’m just saying…

So anyway, met a guy last night. Don’t roll your eyes. I’m single. I’m allowed to look. And flirt. And have fun. And I also had a lot of wine. The only problem? I was the oldest person in the room. Not oldest by a couple of months or a year. By a lot of years. These kids were not even born when I first went to school! jeez. But the guy was interesting. He is an anthropologie major. Still a college student. We had an interesting conversation. And it was nice being able to talk to someone and have a conversation that did not involve me having to be polite or watch my words or being ridiculed (or at least harbor a secret fear of it). I liked it. Felt like college all over again where people can agree to disagree. I miss that.

And that’s it. In case you were looking for some dramatic ending or start. There’s nothing. I don’t have his number. He doesn’t have mine. Beyond some flirtatious touching, there was nothing else. We both behaved :-p I suppose it would be kinda fun to see him again. But he is sooo young. He was like, erm, I’m mature for my age. Sigh. Where have I heard that before? But he’s got cute hair! hahaha. But it was nice to have someone like me. Yes. I know. I’m pathetic. And in case you think I think its wrong to date someone younger or that I disapprove of it. I don’t. In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m pretty liberal when it comes to relationships. I believe everyone should have the freedom to date whoever they want. But I was brought up with certain values that regardless of what I think, they have been hard to shake off. So while I will not impose those on my children, I have self-imposed them onto myself…

i suppose its a good thing that at least i’m not brooding over the fact that last year i was with him and now this year, he brought his new gf home whereas no one in his family knew we were even dating. I suppose when you bring a girl home 4 mths after you met her…he must love her. And she must be the one. it hurt when i first thought about it. esp since he already told me he was bringing her home 2 mths after he met her. it still hurts. but i’m trying not to think too much about it. better to have loved and lost then not to have it at all, right?

oh. and did i mention i just got baby fever? no. its quite true. to heck with a boyfriend/husband/partner. I just want a baby. i saw the cutest, most adorable little boy in the hospital (one of my patients). Such a sweetheart. And the loveliest hair. And so affectionate. I carried him for a bit and he refused to be put down. he just wanted me to hold him. haven’t felt so wanted or needed in a while. maybe that’s it. i just want to feel needed. oh well.

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ChiefMonkey

I've been swinging from place to place looking for new adventures every day.

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