I always thought that I was, or at the very least, could be one of those ex-gfs who, regardless of whether or not she was the dumper or the dumpee, manages to remain friends with her ex. In fact, if her ex’s did not keep in touch or did not want to keep in touch, that was their problem, not hers. Actually, I thought I was one of those girls who (after an appropriate amount of mourning period of course) would be cool with seeing her ex-bf with someone else, or maybe even set her ex-bf up with someone else.
Until this weekend. I’m not sure if I never ever had that ability. Or perhaps age has made me bitter. And selfish. I would like to continue to think that I can remain friends with LJ. Actual friends, not friends that occassionally kiss. Just friends. According to him, I act like a cat that has senses her territory being invaded whenever I’m around him and any of his (multiple) female friends. And its gets worse when I see him chatting up other girls. He likes one of the new scholars. I’m not sure how that makes me feel. At least, right now, I don’t think I can be completely honest with myself how that makes me feel. On the one hand, I would like to be the generous one who sets them up (I gave her his number…but I simply refuse to give him hers) and be allowed to brag about it. But on the other hand, the fact that he is chatting her up in front of me makes me mad sad. We had a fight. Well, more like he threw down an ultimatum. Either I quit acting like a stark raving jealous possessive ex, or we stop hanging out. I almost told him to shove it. But I caved in. Perhaps its because I can’t let him go. But as a favor to myself, I think we are going to go back to being friends. Actual friends, not the kind of friends with any sort of fringe benefits. Just friends.
The next question, of course, is can I be generous enough not to try to sabotage his attempts at knowing this girl? I mean, obviously he will meet others but at least it won’t be through me! sigh.