the end of the world?

Earthquakes and aftershocks, killer tornados, and serial killers. Its no wonder that I have stopped reading the news.  Sometimes I wonder if the world is coming to an end. 

During my first year of medical school, I started to shut the world out.  I lived in my bubble.  My student bubble.  Focusing on myself and all my miseries and made-up calamities.  But I realised that it was selfish. If I was going to be a doctor, I had to take an active interest in my community.  I started to volunteer with the  YWCA.  Then I started to question if my real vocation was medicine or if perhaps I had chosen the wrong path.  Maybe research was my true calling.  Having spent a year here at the NIH, I know that I want to be a physician scientist.  I won’t be able to cure cancer or Alzheimer’s disease but I know that if I continue exploring the world of research, eventually, I will make some sort of contribution. But I made the commitment to be a doctor.  Yes, perhaps I have ‘paid’ for it with tuition and my youth, but medical schools took a risky investment when they accept students into their school because like it or not, that $200,000 (give or take) from tuition really doesn’t even cover the expenses of training a medical doctor.  With taxpayer’s dollars, they made an investment in me with the expectation that I would repay society by providing healthcare for the taxpayers and I don’t intend to renegade on that commitment.

Everytime I find myself questioning if all the sacrifices my family has made for me to be here is worth it, I have to remind myself that it will be because eventually I will be a doctor, eventually, I will be a scientist.  Eventually I will realise my dreams to make something of myself.  Perhaps the world is coming to an end. But before it does, the time I have in it, I want to do something useful, something meaningful.


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I've been swinging from place to place looking for new adventures every day.

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