So LJ and I broke up after V-day. My first V-day in years. It was perfect. And then it … well, it just ended. I was upset, naturally. But we wanted to remain friends. And I worked hard at it. Really, I did. But everytime I saw him, I wanted him. I wanted him to hold me, to kiss me, to stroke my back and to cuddle up with me and tell me that everything is ok. It wasn’t ok though. We were over simply because I’m not a citizen here. And then when I came back from SD, we started hooking up again. No strings attached. I can do this I thought. I mean, I’m human. I merely need my physical needs fulfilled. He is my friend, so that fulfilled the emotional part, right? Well, I was wrong. He refuses to kiss or cuddle up with me. To him, kissing and cuddling is something that couples do, something that means something. When he said that … I felt like he was breaking up with me all over again. Deep down, I know he is right. Perhaps I was trying to hold on to something I never had in the first place. I wanted him to love me. But he never has. He cares for me. And I think that’s all I’m ever going to expect from him. I’m not sure this whole friendship with benefits thing is going to work out. At least, not now. I think we are better off as friends only.