and then there are the good moments, and there are the bad moments within a day…
So far … I have been doing good. LJ and I have been doing good. We have been hanging out/talking over IM as friends with very little, if any awkwardness. But sometimes, just sometimes little things happen to make me sad all over again. Like telling someone who did not know we had broken up that we had broken up. Or when I see him look really (I mean, he looks good to begin with…he’s about the most metrosexual guy I know who isn’t gay) good like when he wore that new shirt from Zara. And then I get sad because he was mine not too long ago.
I’ve also been teasing him about getting a new girlfriend recently. I’m not sure how I will really feel when he starts dating someone (I really hope he doesn’t…at least not until when I’m gone and out of sight) but I want him to be happy. He wants two children. One boy and one girl. I am so glad I didn’t know that before we stopped dating. It would have made it more painful. Or perhaps it is more painful knowing that now. Knowing that if things had worked out, what we could have had together.
I need to move on. I really need to not let this affect me anymore. I love him still. And I want him to be happy.