Amongst all the different shots of the lunar eclipse I took on Wed night, these are perhaps the best I have. Unfortunately, having only one of those point and shoot digital cameras (and yes, I am still very proud of it because under most conditions, it takes very good, high quality pictures suited to my wants and needs), I wasn’t able to take very good pics of the eclipse. Most of my pictures looked as the moon was on the highway as part of a high speed chase complete with police and papparazzi helicoptors.
And yes, that’s the Ex. We went to see the eclipse together. With Mr. Shortneck. Why are his eyes so funny looking? I guess its because this is a semi-private blog. And I’m trying, in a vain attempt, to conceal his eyes. The eyes always give it away, don’t you agree?
I am trying though, you know, to get over it. To accept it. Everytime I think, ok. I’m fine now. I can breathe better now. An overwhelming need to cry or to throw something overcomes me. But I am determined to get better. After all, it was only 4mths (and yes, sometimes 4mths can be an eternity) but I refuse to let this ruin my year off. I remembered why I took this gap year (to learn more about myself, to be immersed in a new research project) and him, us, it was an unexpected thing but I need to find something to learn from this relationship.
So what have I learned? Never date someone who designs sandwiches for a living. Its hard, very very hard, to be friends with someone you used to date. Its possible. I’m convinced that it is because I REFUSE to believe I’m not capable of doing it that it is possible and I will overcome this hurdle. I also refuse to be a doormat. I’m not going to take this lying down. I’m going to be me. I’m not going to be overly accomodating to spare his feelings. I know its not his fault that we had to break up. But its still his fault. I can’t explain it. But he has to take some of the blame here. I’m not going to not let myself enjoy his company because, let’s face it, he knows this area well. And its always nice to have someone to eat dinner with on occasion. So there. I’m going to harden myself a little because that’s going to be the only way I’m going to survive this.