Learning to be friends

Its really hard. Its really really hard to learn to be friends with someone you were never friends to begin with. Its harder even still when you used to date someone and can still remember how his hands feel and you can still remember the warm tingling feeling you get whenever he kisses the nape of your neck while you are trying to sleep. But I desperately need to try because if I don’t, I really will lose him forever.

On President’s day, I met up with The Friend to go to the National Geographic Museum to see the Frogs! exhibition. There were many many frogs there.

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 (isn’t photoshop great??!!)

I even tried to kiss one outside the museum hoping he would change into my Prince Charming.  And even though Prince Charming did end up standing there, he couldn’t belong to me. I guess fairy tales don’t always work in real life. 

 Because it was a federal holiday (and its the start of tourist season), there were loads of children there. But that was ok. It made being near him that much easier. The frogs were amazing though. Lots and lots of them. And lots of really pretty colored ones (poisonous!–that should teach one to be attracted to pretty things). One even looked like it was made out of chocolate.

And so, that’s how I spent my President’s day after a whole day of randomly bursting into tears. I still tear up whenever I am alone and I start thinking about him. But I guess its part of the healing process. The only thing is, I wish he had been a jerk. Or that we had a fight. something. But this was a situation that was out of both of our controls and it makes me so mad because there is nothing for me to get angry about. And so all my energy is spent on feeling sad. And tonight, we are going to watch the eclipse. Together. And on Sat we are going to Baltimore. Together. I keep trying to get my dorm-mates to come but no one else seems interested. I wish they would come. It would help to normalize things a little. But his friends will be there. And I guess that will help. I like them too. Sometimes I do wonder if it will be easier if I just stop talking to him. Or if that will only make me cry more. 
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ChiefMonkey

I've been swinging from place to place looking for new adventures every day.

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