judgement

I confess. I’m one of those women who constantly moan about moronic men who leave you with no closure.

Yet, when I meet a guy who knows what he wants, has the decency to not string me along and is honest, I still get depressed.

Argh.

Intellectually, I knew from day 1 it was supposed to be a short fling. Something fun and easy. It ends when I leave.  Yes, I did find the fact that he has a son extremely attractive. Yes, I found his smile and his intellect attractive. But I figured it was perfect. We’ll have fun, I’ll leave. And when I come back, it will be a nice memory.

But whenever I get drunk, for some stupid idiotic reason, I allow myself to get carried away and to imagine things that aren’t there.  I knew he wasn’t looking for anything serious.  I knew it. But I gave him the impression that I was even though I wasn’t.  Does this make sense? And then I called him this morning. To apologise for being drunk.  And I wanted to let him know that I knew things were getting heavy (emotionally) and that it wasn’t my intention. But instead of saying that, I allowed him to go first.  And he was like, listen, I just want to clear things up. I’m not looking for anything serious..blah blah blah….and I was like, neither am I!  And he called me out on it.

I’m sure things aren’t going to go back to the way they were even though I really wish it would.  But I hope he will still call/page me and that we’ll still hang out and that well, we can still date until I leave.

I just want to leave Chicago on a good note.

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ChiefMonkey

I've been swinging from place to place looking for new adventures every day.

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