the importance of rice

Unlike many people I know here in the US, rice isn’t part of their staple diet. But its part of mine. If I don’t have it at least once a day, I feel out of sorts. If I don’t have it for a week, I get really grumpy. But mind you, its not just some random rice that I will eat. I must have jasmine rice.  From Thailand if possible thank you very much. Why? Texture. Smell. I’m not a food connosiur by any means. Actually, I eat so much junk I’m surprised I actually count as having any taste buds at all. But when it comes to rice. Well. That’s a whole other story.

 And that is part of the reason why I miss Chicago. Sometimes. The Chinatown, though not great, isn’t bad either.  At least I can get my rice. Here…well, not as easy. But I guess if I had a car, it might have been easier. *shrug* But its okay. I’m going back soon. 
Image details: San Francisco Asian Community Fears Rice Shortages served by picapp.com

I AM that girl

Apparently, I am that girl who will set her ex-bf up with someone she knows. Not someone she knows intimately (gawd, I don’t think I’m at that stage … yet), but someone she actually knows and talks to. Make that, I think I was bullied into it. He kept badgering me, saying I was being silly for not giving him her email. I tried to come up with appropriate excuses like I’m not going to give it to you because I don’t know if she likes you, etc. In the end, I got fed up with our stupid IM conversation and gave it to him after talking to her. And so now, I am the idiot who introduced her ex-bf, an ex-bf that she unfortunately still has feelings for, to a new girl. Heck. Some will call it an act of generousity. And perhaps in a few months (or years) I can perhaps think of it that way to make myself feel better. But right now, I’m pissed. I’m pissed because I felt like I was being coerced bullied into it and I feel like an idiot for allowing myself to be manipulated that way.  That said, I’m trying not to be that girl who thinks her ex-bf is a jerk because when I was with him, I certainly never thought that he was a jerk. But the truth of it is, I’m sick of making excuses for this uptight, stick-in-the-arse, badge-touting (even though he isn’t a real agent) jerk. I’m done. From now on, he’s being relegated to the ‘friends’ category, but not the kind that I would go the extra mile for. That’s it.

can I do it?

I always thought that I was, or at the very least, could be one of those ex-gfs who, regardless of whether or not she was the dumper or the dumpee, manages to remain friends with her ex. In fact, if her ex’s did not keep in touch or did not want to keep in touch, that was their problem, not hers. Actually, I thought I was one of those girls who (after an appropriate amount of mourning period of course) would be cool with seeing her ex-bf with someone else, or maybe even set her ex-bf up with someone else.

Until this weekend. I’m not sure if I never ever had that ability. Or perhaps age has made me bitter. And selfish. I would like to continue to think that I can remain friends with LJ. Actual friends, not friends that occassionally kiss. Just friends. According to him, I act like a cat that has senses her territory being invaded whenever I’m around him and any of his (multiple) female friends. And its gets worse when I see him chatting up other girls. He likes one of the new scholars. I’m not sure how that makes me feel. At least, right now, I don’t think I can be completely honest with myself how that makes me feel. On the one hand, I would like to be the generous one who sets them up (I gave her his number…but I simply refuse to give him hers) and be allowed to brag about it. But on the other hand, the fact that he is chatting her up in front of me makes me mad sad.  We had a fight. Well, more like he threw down an ultimatum. Either I quit acting like a stark raving jealous possessive ex, or we stop hanging out. I almost told him to shove it. But I caved in. Perhaps its because I can’t let him go. But as a favor to myself, I think we are going to go back to being friends. Actual friends, not the kind of friends with any sort of fringe benefits. Just friends.

The next question, of course, is can I be generous enough not to try to sabotage his attempts at knowing this girl? I mean, obviously he will meet others but at least it won’t be through me! sigh.

miss universe 2008

I was in Annapolis so I missed watching the Miss Universe 2008. But I did go to the news website to find out who won!

Image details: 57th Annual Miss Universe 2008 Competition served by picapp.com

Congratulations Ms. Venezuela. I’m kinda curious about her kidnapping story though. I mean, wow. Talk about being scared out of your wits. And to survive that. And then to do this. Wow. But she sure is a beauty! And apparently poor Ms USA 2008 caught the same fate as her predeccessor and tripped on her gown too. *sad face*

Image details: 57th Annual Miss Universe 2008 Competition served by picapp.com

 I remember loving the telecast of the Miss Universe and Miss World contests even though Miss Singapore never won. It never mattered. What mattered was seeing these beautiful intelligent young women from all countries presenting themselves as ambassadors of their country. What they said, how they walked, was something that I was always in awe of.  My family used to say that my sister was so beautiful she should be a contestant one day. She never joined. I guess a small part of me wishes I was her. Or them.

eating and shitting from the same pot

What did I learn this week? I learnt that I’m done playing his games according to his rules. I’m done with him too. I don’t know why it took me so damm long. Well, I’m just kidding myself. I know why. I was afraid to let go. I think I’m reaching the age where I’m just afraid to let go. I’m letting my fears of being alone get to me. Regardless, I’m done. He said we were done. And after pretty much grovelling with him yesterday and then realising that he is the one being an idiot, I’m done. He’s going to play by my rules. He can be my friend. Or not. His choice. But I’m not pandering to his whims. And the whole eating and shitting from the same pot? I used to think that meant dating a colleague. oh no. Its a lot more than that. Its dating a friend of friends.  bad bad idea.  Its also plain ass stupidity or sheer madness to date a friend. Because all it does is that it ends up alienating friends. And making your life miserable because after you break up with the guy, you can’t fully express how you feel because you don’t want to make things awkward for your mutual friends. So you either hide how you really feel, or you stop hanging out with your friends. Well, I don’t want to lose my friends. So I’m keeping my mouth shut. But it seems like keeping everything to myself has only made me more miserable.  So lesson learnt from this relationship? NEVER EAT FROM THE SAME POT YOU SHIT FROM.

clothes I lust after but cannot afford

I just came back from my clothes swapping party. In exchange for two boxes of clothes, I came back with a bag full. Not too shabby considering I was trying to get rid of some clothes. Got some cute tops It was a pity though. There were a couple of pieces I really wanted but they were too big/small.  Also went to Deja New today. Bad idea because I came home with morre stuff. sigh. But one of them was a white dress. So pretty and perfect for the summer. Too bad it was a little big and long. Figured I can probably alter the shoulder so it sits better on the top. As for the length, its mid-calf. Not my best length but I can live with it until I go home in Oct (if I ever manage to get tickets) and my mom will fix it

Was randomly surfing through pictures on PicApp and found these great great dresses from Roland Mouret from his Spring 2006 collection. Too bad I can’t pictures of his newest collection. They look fantastic

Image details: Roland Mouret Spring 2006 - Runway served by picapp.com

 Image details: Roland Mouret Spring 2006 - Runway served by picapp.com

i lust iphone

Image details: New iPhone 3G Hits Stores Across U.S served by picapp.com

I’m not ashamed to admit it. I really want the new iphone. I mean, one could reason that a lot of the kinks associated with the first generation iphone has probably been worked out.  Unfortunately, the idea of standing in line at 4am, or signing up for a new phone contract was so distasteful, I banished it from my mind. But that doesn’t mean I can’t lust after it anyway!

Image details: Crowds Queue Ahead Of The iPhone 3G Launch In Regent Street served by picapp.com

4th of july fireworks

Reading the Steward-Tharps account of their 4th of July celebrations makes me ashamed because even a busy family of 3 has managed to post their experiences while my pictures are languishing in my SD Card. *Sad face* I am a very very bad blogger!

Image details: Woman wagging finger served by picapp.com

late night phone calls

Image details: Young man wearing a telephone headset served by picapp.com

Yes people. This is how I look when I talk to my mother. Except now I have a webcam as well (of poor quality I might add since I really can’t afford anything good) and my mother is now able to see how messy my room looks. Which is bad, because well, I’m always moving my head (which results in terribly blur images) so that she can’t see the disaster in certain areas of the room. Sigh. I have tried to place the camera in different positions hoping that she won’t be able to see the disaster areas (which, by the way, are contained. I know! There is controlled chaos) but it doesn’t quite seem to work very well

Image details: Gay Friendly Student Housing served by picapp.com

celebrity muse

Found this great article on finding your ‘celebrity muse’.  And it got me to thinking who my celebrity muse should be. I mean, there aren’t that many asian celebrities out there. At least not in the magazines that I read. Granted, it might be different if I was living in Asia. But then again, even when I’m back home and reading all those magazines, the photos are so doctored up, its hard to find something practical from those pictures.

Image details: Premiere Of Dreamworks “Kung Fu Panda” - Arrivals served by picapp.com

That said, isn’t Lucy Liu gorgeous? She always wears such pretty stuff. The only problem is that she is so small.  But she is always so elegant looking.  But I also like the whole hollywood glamour look too.  And then there is Nicole Kidman who I love love love (except for her voice…too breathy for me when she is acting. But beautiful when she is speaking normally).  But she is always so beautiful. And elegant. wow.

Image details: 20th Annual Kid’s Choice Awards - Arrivals served by picapp.com